Sexy Labia: Love Your Sexy Labia

himu said:

I have a question for you guys (LL & TD) what if the person you/your partner is having fun with happens to fall for you/her and becomes obsessed... how would you/she handle it? has that ever happened to any of you? just curious...

@Himu

@Himu

Well, the answer to this isn't so simple -- and I don't know if you and your lady are considering doing this, but I'll give you some tips that my girlfriend and I use so that things never happen that way:

1) We never involve ourselves with the same person/people more than twice.  Some people associate love/sex as one and the same, and sometimes the intimacy of the act can cause someone to unintentionally fall in love with you and then things get "sticky" (no pun intended).

2) We keep a separate cell phone for that purpose.  This is the number we provide to our lovers both male and female.  It is a pre-paid cell phone, so if things get to the point where we don't want to deal, we simply buy another one (not sure what they cost in your country, but here in America, they can be purchased for as little as $30).  After a sexual experience has concluded, we turn the phone off (physically off, so that if someone calls, they get voicemail).  This allows us to keep things on our own terms.  Meaning we are only involved with the person or people when we want to be, and are able to live our lives as usual otherwise.

3) We never meet with a man/woman or couple at our own place.  We always meet at a VERY nice hotel (not motels, as they can be pretty seedy), where the average room cost is around $100 - $200 for the evening.  This ensures it's a nice environment and guarantees that the people or person we're meeting with for sex that we're nice people and are serious about our sexual activities.

Typically, here's how it happens. . .

If my girl is out, and she comes across a guy she likes, and starts flirting with him, etc -- she gets his number (we never give out our own numbers), then she comes home and discusses it with me, tells me what she found attractive about him, etc.  We never tell the person initially we're "in a relationship" with someone, because that will sometimes come across to the other person as if we're intending to "cheat" when that is not the case.  I do the same thing, if I talk to a woman I like, I ask for her number (which works out better for me as a guy, since this is typically the man's role anyways).  When I get home, I discuss it with my girlfriend, and then we move onto the next step:

We then use the "bat phone" (that's what we call it since the "sex phone" didn't sound too good, especially if other people were around and we were talking about it -- so she suggested the "bat phone" which was a play on the "Batman" thing as you know) to get in touch with the person (i.e. I'll call the woman I met, or she'll call the guy she met).

So for me, I typically will call the woman I met, and get to know her a bit to see if I even want to pursue her further. . .if I do, I'll typically ask her to text me a few pics of herself (so I can show my girlfriend).  If she finds her attractive too, then I explain to her that I'm in a relationship, and that me and my girlfriend are both attracted to her and would like to know if she'd care to join us for a 3 some.  The results have been surprising to say the least.  I've been hung up on (doesn't happen that frequently), some women think I'm lying, at which point I usually put them on the phone with my girlfriend so she can talk to them, and some women just flat out say yes.  Same with the guys.  Some are surprised.  But most of the men say yes.  I make it a point to tell them, I'm not bi-sexual, so we would just be there to please my girl together is all, and most men are usually ok with it.  This strategy works well with single people, but with couples it's tougher, so we use another site called AdultFriendFinder.com to meet other couples.

With couples we typically split the cost of the hotel room, dinner, etc and we always have dinner with them at least once (prior to meeting for sex) to see if we even "click" and have attraction to one another besides the pics we've seen online of them and them of us.

So basically what works is keeping it separate, just the same way it is separate when it comes to the act itself.

Sometimes my girlfriend only watches, and doesn't participate (usually because the woman isn't bi-sexual, or curious about women), and sometimes I watch and don't participate (this only happens if my girlfriend wants to experience the man solely for the night).  But we always have sexual experiences with other people together, never alone (even if one of us isn't participating), both for safety purposes, and for the other person's enjoyment as well (being a voyeur).

I can tell you that this lifestyle isn't for everyone, especially those folks who haven't yet learned to separate love from sex, which will typically be the majority of women, and some men as well.

Some people believe love and sex are one and the same thing, and as a result after an experience like this are traumatized at seeing their partner be passionate with another person, and start to ask things like:

- Was he/she better than me?
- Did you like him/her better?

And so forth. . .but all those questions are really unimportant.

The main thing to understand is that sometimes a sexual partner WILL be better than you, but that's a good thing, because now your partner can tell you what they liked about that sexual experience, and allow you to do the same things with them, which enhances your sex lives even more.

You also shouldn't be concerned about whether or not your partner "likes the other person better" because that's quite obvious in the fact that they are going home with you, and that it's been pre-established that no matter what the outcome is, this person will not be part of your partner's sexual experiences more than twice anyway to guarantee that you (or your partner) "falling" for another person (or them you) never happens.

Now, I will also say that prior to arriving at this point, you and your partner must already have a very good relationship, be secure about yourself, and your relationship, and also have a good sex life together -- if any of those things are lacking, it will be amplified when you start having sexual experiences with others.

For example, if you're insecure about your cock size, when you see your woman for the first time take on a man with a much bigger cock than yours, it may cause jealousy, when after he leaves, she's still YOUR woman, and you don't have to worry about that (and she is still happy with your cock as well).  If you're woman is uncomfortable with her body, seeing you have sex with a woman for the first time who has an amazing, toned, tight body, may make her feel jealous as well, even after that woman is long gone, and you're still enjoying sex with your woman.

So it's important to iron out the kinks in your own relationship and security in yourself first, before you and your partner venture out to start involving other people in your sex lives.

Has anyone become obssessed?

Yes, it's actually happened with me twice, and with my girlfriend once -- but the beauty of it all is that we simply just got a new pre-paid phone, and tossed the other one, so there were no worries.

The time it happened with my girlfriend, was with an older guy (in his late 40's) who had just been separated from his wife, and my girlfriend rocked his world -- he kept talking about how much he loved the way she rode his cock. LOL!  Well eventually, after about a week or so, he started leaving messages on the phone, which we of course didn't know about until we went to use the bat phone another time to make arrangements with a couple, and he apparently thought the phone was hers, so he was leaving her messages saying things like: "I can take care of you much better than he can", "Younger men can't compete with guys like me who are more experienced and can take care of girls like you", and other kinds of nonsense.  She told me about the messages, and said: "I think it's time we get a different number for it. . ." and that was that.

Now with me it's happened twice (you'd think my girlfriend is the one who gets it more, but it seems to be me for whatever reason).

The 1st time, it was with a woman who had a boyfriend/husband (both me and my girlfriend always encourage honesty, but can't control what people do in their own relationships obviously).  She was trying to persuade me to meet her somewhere WITHOUT my girlfriend so that we could have sex.  So of course, I was asking her what the difference was (this was before we had the "no more than twice" rule), and she said that she "couldn't be herself knowing my girlfriend was watching".  I declined.  But this kept on for a few weeks, at which point me and my girlfriend agreed it was time to cut it.

The 2nd time it happened wasn't as bad. . .basically the woman started texting the "bat phone" saying stuff like: "I'd like to have your cock again, please??" and "Would [my girlfriend's name] mind if I borrowed your cock for a few hours without her?" -- again another time we had to get a new bat phone.

Since implementing our 2x rule (sex with the same person no more than twice), it's actually been a lot better because now we haven't had that occur in months now, and it also keeps things fresh (new sexual partners) very frequently.  LOL!  I can't complain!  :D

@She -- And therein lies the problem with modern society.  People are under the impression that they can control the actions of another, or that they have the right to control the actions of another because of a relationship.

When this is your perspective, it would be difficult to understand how my girlfriend and I could have a perfectly healthy relationship and why it would appear to difficult to comprehend on the surface.  Like I said originally, it's not for everyone. ;)

Also, TD = @Tempest_Driver just like LL = @LabiaLover. :)