Sexy Labia: Love Your Sexy Labia

@Kitty77

Threads have been merged honey.

@hugelabia

Welcome.  Glad you found us.  You're about to discover things about yourself that perhaps you never knew existed prior.  That's what this community is all about -- it's the one place you can come, and feel no pressure, and be ultimately confident in knowing that the people here are either just like (most of our female members), and accept you as are, and find your labia to be very attracive (most of our male members).

Having had sex with over 120+ women myself, I can totally understand where you're coming from, except for me, the biggest difference is that I didn't feel bad about it afterwards as you did.  My parents were very liberal with me, and my Dad and I had the "talk" very early on. . .heck my mom even gave me condoms to make sure that "I didn't bring home some girl pregnant" as she put it.

I think your upbringing has a lot to do with it (interesting how when our parents try to stop us from doing something we do it even more, and take it to the extreme sometimes).

But in any case, we're here to help, and will definitely embrace you, and any issues that you might think you have, and offer some information where possible to help you come to understanding about yourself, your husband, and your sexuality.

Now, I will be honest in telling you that I'm not surprised you cheated on your husband to get what you wanted, while I don't condone it, I can totally understand why it occurred in the first place.

I'll be frank here in stating that I don't believe in monogamy in the first place, and my current girlfriend and I agree on this, which is why our relationship is amazing both sexually, and emotionally with one another.

She knows I need a new pussy from time to time, even though I completely enjoy sex with her, and I know she needs a new cock from time to time even though she enjoys sex with me.

Although I don't believe in monogamy, I do believe in complete and forthcoming honesty, all the time, and every time -- without exception.

That said, I think you're on the right track in being honest with your husband about your feelings, and I think you need to continue down that path. . .for most of us, especially women, sex and love are the same thing, which is where problems arise.

Men can separate sex and love in a lot of cases, whereas women have a more difficult time with this (based on social stigmata like a woman is a "slut" if she has sex with more than one man, while a man who does the same is a "stud" and other kinds of complete bullshit that render our women into a state of lull about their sexuality and desires).

I do believe that as human beings, most of us operate on a scale when it comes to sexuality, where the extreme sides of the scales represent people like me on one side, who just cannot be satisfied by one sexual partner forever, and then the other side where people can be satisfied completely with just being with one sexual partner forever.

Now, I mention this specifically, because it's important to point that while I believe that scale exists, I also believe that a separate scale exists for your emotional bond/attachment to another person.

I believe that it is perfectly normal to have multiple sexual partners, but be emotionally committed to just one person -- now for most people this would be a hard concept to understand.  But for me it's actually quite simple.

It wasn't until I actually laid this out for myself, that I was able to later lay it out for women intending to start a relationship with me -- and many of them said "I can't do that" (be with a man who needs to have sex with other women from time-to-time), which I totally and completely understood, because I knew that most women would not be okay with it.  It takes a woman who is very confident in herself, and very secure to accept those kind of facts, and even execute on them herself (requiring the same kind of wherewithall in a man).

You may be one of these women. . .or you could just be going through a spell. . .but ultimately you'll need to figure this out for yourself (maybe we can help you, but ultimately the decision lies with you).

Now, the real issue here is that will your husband support your decision if it turns out he disagrees with it?

The only way to find out is to be perfectly honest with him once you do figure it out - you owe it to him and to yourself to *ALWAYS* be honest about yourself and your feelings as well as your expectations.

The reason why honesty is so important in a relationship is because it clears the air, and lets the other person know if their expectations are reasonable/unreasonable, etc based on the criteria being presented to them at the time.

You want to open up to your husband sexually, and "lose" yourself sexually with him, the way so many of your trysts have gone??

Then you need to first be completely honest with him about what occurred during those sexual experiences you had, and why they were so amazing for you.  It may hurt his feelings in the beginning, but knowing this will either further cement your relationship, and allow you to experience the same kind of sexual heights you've experience with these other men, or it will drive a giant wedge between the two of you and ultimately lead to the demise of your marriage.

But the question you have to ask youself is. . .

Is your lifelong happiness worth *NOT* being honest with him??

And I know it sounds selfish, and it is selfish, and it should be selfish, because you will not be able to love another person, until you first get to a point where you can love yourself enough so that you can be honest about your expectations, and commitments to another person.

In this world, as far as we know, you live ONCE.  You owe it to yourself to be happy.

This idea that people have about "sacrificing" and all that is complete bullshit.

I believe that in a loving, and happy relationship, you may have to "sacrifice" tiny, insignificant things from time to time (like what TV shows to watch when two air at the same time for example), but you should *never* have to sacrifice your own personal happiness in order to make another person happy -- it's a fool's journey and will ultimately lead to you "exploding" one day, and going off the deep-end.

You should be able to say beyond a reasonable doubt, that you are happy.

If your sentence becomes, "I'm happy but. . ." or "I'm happy. . .I just wish. . ."

Then that's how you know, you're *NOT* happy -- and this is why some people end up getting divorced in their 50's and 60's because they spend so much time sacrificing for "the kids" or "their religion" or "their parents" or "until this" or "until that" -- which is all complete bullshit.

Happiness as a human being is your one true goal in this life - do not let any indoctrinated bullshit created by other people who aren't happy change that goal.

Anyway. . .point is. . .be honest with your husband, tell him how you feel and how you felt during those sexual experiences, and then assuming he understands, and is able to cope with it (which he may -- you'd be surprised), then you need to take the next step: Allow him to experience you the way you've allowed others to experience you.

Don't bring "respect" into it. . .and think that you "respect him too much to let go with him" -- it has NOTHING to do with respect.  It's about you.  It's always been about you.  Maybe you feel too embarrassed about it, but that is still a personal thing, and has nothing to do with the respect you have for your husband, you're only frustrating him, and yourself further by making it seem like it has something to do with respect.  We both know it does not.  Find yourself.  Through finding yourself, you'll find the best sex you've ever had with your husband, and you'll either come to the conclusion that amazing experience with him like that will sate your sexual appetite, or they won't.  In either case you need to be honest with him when the outcome does arrive.

Figure out what you enjoy most about your sexual experiences, and then give him the opportunity to experience you the same way.  . .

Once you figure out your part, then you need to figure out his part and how it should be involved with you (or not). . .maybe you'll have 3somes from time-to-time, maybe you'll become swingers, or maybe you'll just enjoy a monogamous relationship together.

The only thing I would tell you is to BE HONEST.

Don't let religion, your parents, his parents, friends, social stigmata, or anything else influence your decision, and you'll just end up doing what you've been doing, and getting the same results you've been getting.

The definition of insanity as one person defined it is: "Doing the same thing, and expecting different results each time."

You want things to change?  Become the change you'd like to see in your relationship. Start with honesty.

I can tell you these things confidently because for a little part of my life, I was much like you, and ending up "cheating" on women that I was in committed relationships with.  It wasn't until I became honest with myself about my desires, and about what I wanted for myself, that I was finally able to enjoy a relationship with a woman and really have an emotional bond/connection with her like my current girlfriend.

It wasn't until I stopped giving a shit about other people and their opinions, and held my own opinions and concerns for myself to the highest standard that I was able to live my life finally the way I wanted to live it, and experience the kind of connection you could only have with another person once you've accepted yourself and got into a loving relationship with yourself first!

Let us know how it goes. . .and of course, we'd welcome seeing pics of your labia. ;)

@HugeLabia

Well. . .this is a forum for whatever you need it to be. . .sexual dysfunction included.

Where else can you go, and get "no holds barred", honest opinions and feedback from real people all without being judged?? ;)