Sexy Labia: Love Your Sexy Labia

LabiaLover

@lovelyj

Your sexy as hell, and wise beyond your years. . .a real "catch" I'm thinking. . . :X

Agatha

I agree with @lovelyj and @labialover in that trust and honesty with partners is key here.

Can you spend eternity with someone you share sexually - I think you can. In my view - in terms of our sexual desires - monogamy is against all my natural instincts and reason. The idea that I will find one person and one person only sexually attractive for the rest of my life is just not logical. Non-monogamy is a valid and respectable lifestyle choice and entirely compatible with long term loving relationships (if those are the kind of relationships you want). I think a lot of people would be a lot happier if they knew they had this choice. But trust and honesty is so important. It would be terrible to settle down with someone promising them fidelity then run around cheating.

mrmarquis

Agatha,

Well said indeed!! It is the honesty that you just can't do without, no matter what the nature of your relationship is. And there are no requirements on what a relationship should be. It is whatever you, personally choose for yourself.

LabiaLover

As is typical @Agatha and @mrmarquis mirror what my mind was already thinking. . . ;)

himu

Some of us out here don't have much choice other than monogamy... but I like what @Agatha mention regarding having a choice... If in our society & religion this wasn't a taboo and people had a choice a lot of people might be happier .. :D

@LL a most of people can not separate companionship, love, sex ... sometimes at first they think they will be able to but ultimately can't.... and the key is that both partners have to be able to do it.

Agatha

@himu - you make a valid point about separating love and sex but these type of relationships can work. I am proof of that. I am married (and have been for 8 years). My husband is the most important person to me and the only one I love, but monogamous relationships do not work for me (I have tried and failed). I also have a lover who I have been seeing for about 18 months. We have a fantastic sex life and are good friends but nothing more - it really is only about the sex. He is also married and they were in the process of divorcing as they hadn't had sex in years as she didn't want to after the traumatic birth of her child. I have become friends with her and they both credit me with saving their marriage. My husband is totally cool with it as he knows that he is the only person I love. I always hear that women can't separate love from sex, as I have no problem doing so I don't know if that is just a myth or I am different. I totally respect other cultures and societies view but live my life in a way that's best for me. We are pretty secular here in the uk but a monogamous relationship is still regarded as the gold standard. I can't help thinking that if monogomy is the ideal why are we as people often do bad at it.

LabiaLover · Post edited by LabiaLover at 2012-04-30 09:20:38

@himu:

Like @Agatha, I am also proof of the same. I was married for 8 years, and it ultimately ended in divorce, and this was one of the fundamental differences between her and I that I thought we'd be able to make work.

Fortunately, my current girlfriend shares in the same ideals as I do when it comes to love and sexuality, and our sex lives benefit from this understanding as a result (as does our relationship and the intimacy we share). ;)

Like Agatha said, it makes me wonder the same thing sometimes, and that is:

If monogamy is supposed to be the "natural" course to go, it's a bit ironic that most people are so terrible at actually doing it -- and I use the word "most" loosely to mean the vast majority of relationships in the USA at least with something like 50% or more of relationships ending due to "infidelity".

Here something like 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce -- that's pretty bad, and the UK and other countries aren't far behind in this number either.

Take a look at this site, as it offers some insight into this: http://www.divorcerate.org

My point mirrors Agatha's though. . .for something that is supposed to be so "natural" -- it seems evolution is "bucking the system" so to speak.

mrmarquis

I have to agree with Agatha and LL. I have always thought that humans were not meant to be monogamous. The key, of course, is that both parties must agree, and find a way to be happy with the situation. Sometimes, that just isn't possible, leaving someone less than happy. As so many find out, that is a very difficult way to live your life, and far less than satisfactory. After all, we only get one turn through life.

himu

thanks @Agatha & @LabiaLove for being the glowing example of how non-monogamous can work. I wish we had more examples. As for divorce rates are concern, you will probably find that more modern the society is along with more options the divorce rates are higher there... over here (this part of the world) we are more concern about getting divorce applications (not actual divorces) rising from 2000 a year 10 years ago to nearing 9000 recently (mostly in the cities) last year among 160 million people. we still have more arranged/settled marriages than loved ones. Although I am not a fan of arranged marriages but i have seen it work all my life. Probably due to the fact that in arranged marriages both parties have less expectations and attitude towards making it work as you don't have much choice. So when you start to have more choices in front of naturally divorce rates will go up. Interestingly I have seen more love marriages end up in divorce than arranged ones.

LabiaLover · Post edited by LabiaLover at 2012-05-07 09:43:45

@himu

You know quite honestly, those statistics make a lot of sense to me.

It seems that in modern society, it is the choices that almost promulgate the divorce rate, yet for some reason, I still feel like the divorce rate would be this way even with the presence of "choices" per se being absent.

I think Westerners in general are just more likely to not find love because they tie love and sex together so often that when one of the two doesn't work out right for them, they feel the need to seek it elsewhere.

I also think that in arranged marriages, because the expectation of love is there, you'd almost find a higher success rate, because as love is the basis of the relationship (from an expectation standpoint), it is much easier to make the sex part of the relationship work.

On the other hand, as us Westerners have a tendency to first find sexual gratification, and then seek love, we tend to have a much higher "attrition" rate (so to speak) in churning out the relationships, both temporary and long-term because people are unwilling to accept a relationship where the other person doesn't satisfy them sexually (and rightfully so in my opinion), and stay with it simply because of "love".

I mean, I'm obviously over-simplifying it, but the point is that I think it is possible for a relationship to start out with love, and then be explored sexually, and vice versa and be successful either way.

I think you can seek sexual gratification with someone, and then end up loving them, just like you can start out loving someone, and then work to make the sex good between you. . .

But as you stated originally, I think the subjective idea here is that choice is what creates the problem, however, I think choice isn't a problem if both people are happy in the relationship and have the same expectations of one another.

I personally believe the divorce rate goes up, when the people in the relationship don't have the same expectations, whether it is an arranged relationship or a mutually created relationship. ;)

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